We’re just returning from welcoming our new intern from up North with a culinary TexMex fiesta, and halfway back I realize I’ve entered a race with the Devil. The prize, my pants and dignity. Anyway, thanks to considerate traffic lights and some minor road felonies (thanks GTA) I manage to arrive just before hull breach. (Yeah, I could have stopped somewhere, but sometimes you've got to show your ass who’s boss.)But that's not the end. I get to the bathroom to sit down for the fight of my life, hoping I could come up with something better to inspire me than the theme to “Over the Top.” Then I see it, peeking out from the middle of a stack of Zipper magazines; the new series from Chynna Clugston-Major, Scooter Girl.

I start to read the comic. Actually, no. First I start to tear up and wince, like the noise a dog would make if he were to take a football to the groin. Then I started to read the silver lining of my situation, pausing only to plead to the Almighty for forgiveness for whatever sin caused my bowels to be cursed with Satan's wrath. Seriously though, Scooter Girl is her best work yet. Definitely come a long way since those Bloodletting vampires in the ‘90’s,but it’s also a

big jump from Blue Monday. The art is cleaner and the story is more cohesive than Blue. The first issue’s about a girl (Margaret) brutally tearing down a guy (Ashton), setting up for his attempt at redemption. She does it because he deserves it (“You’ve been an insult to my gender ever since you could get a hard-on”). Absent are cliches such as grrl power or female insecurity around attractive males. Margaret is a character who is motivated by her own wants, not because she is a woman. She’s an actual person, complete and of herself. In my opinion that’s what really sets this book apart. The end result is a girl who’s a cool badass who *gasp*, acts like a cool badass. Of course this book is written by a woman, and they do tend to have a better grasp on the subject than forty year old men. Thinking about all this really got me through this traumatizing experience. I did have to read the last bit again after I got out, because by that time I was seeing visions of my father’s ghost, and he’s still mad that I haven’t

finished college. It's bad enough arguing with your parents, but being on the can and him being a ghost AND a hallucination is just a little much.

I thank you Scooter Girl, for you helped me through a difficult time, and while someday the blood will stop and the burning will end, I know you will be there when you are needed. Hopefully you were there for Elin, ‘cause she had to go right after me.

--Mike “Winner Takes it All” Suarez